Im back after such a long period of time and I'll ofc be continuing this blog challenge but i wouldn't post one everyday but one whenever i'm free. even a few at once will be fine too.
So, the best advice I've ever gotten I guess would be from my bff. I've known him for a very long time, since primary school but we weren't close back then until sec1 where we got into the same class and since then he has already took up this role as my annoying bff though it's been a longgg time since we last talked :/
The best advice he ever gave to me was that I should never lose myself. not because of anything or anyone. I've always thought that other ppl should come first in whatever decision I make and it's been true for every single move that I make. I always am sure that all the other ppl won't be at a losing end or I'll just minimise their loss. It was really tough doing so because compromises have to be made. I have to give up myself just so that others will be happy. and that's when i lose myself.
there was a period or should i say is? that i really dk who i am anymore... It's like i miss being me. sometimes i would have no idea how to act just because there is always this way of acting infront of diff ppl that i got used to, that when im supposed to be myself, it got so uncomfortable. sighhh
but anyway, i started wearing masks after masks to hide the facade. to hide the fact that im hurt and started pushing ppl away because i never wanted to disturb a single person. i didn't want to ruin their life.
my bff told me a lot of things and i still keep those messages because he's probably the best thing that happened to me. We do quarrel alot but i always find myself forgiving him because he's a large part of my life and I know that he understand me way much more than i understand myself.
and thats why im glad to call him my bff. it's sad that i dont tell him everything but i know that if one day, i need someone to talk to, he'll be there and i'll be there for him too.
anyway, the point is that this advice really did help me to realise that i've lost myself and i really couldn't afford to do so and thus i woke up. i stop putting everyone else in front of me and just did what i feel like doing because karma's a bitch and not everyone cares about your sacrifices.
the next best advice was given by my other bff. I've known him for 2years+. Haven't been talking ever since months ago and he's happily living his life with his girlfr ofc. The best advice he gave was to stop being so negative. yeap, but i swear im only negative infront of certain ppl and these certain ppl obviously include him and those that im comfortable with.
He got so pissed and fed up about my negativity that he scolded me. although he's always there for me when i needed someone and even ask if i wanted a phonecall every single time because he know how much that will mean to me. thanks bff x he taught me alot of things and ofc taught me to love myself by being more positive in life. there's a lot that he doesn't know tho but i guess, he never asked so i guess it's fine. there are always time like these, whereby i just feel like nobody truly understands me at all. nope, no one at all. because they never try hard enough to actually make me let them in. and i need them to try hard because idw them to leave so easily like how everyone else did. i still haven't learn to love myself yet but im in the process. but do you know how hard it is to do so?
because I've never felt love before so how am i supposed to love myself? I just want someone to love me till the day that i could but i know im asking for too much and that's alright.
anw, here is the 5th challenge and i shall end here goodbye !!
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